The Groundbreaking Blurb-- From the Depths of My Financial Worries

Financial Freak!



My vision is distorted with clouds of ignorance.

These glasses I have, they fail to correct...

Instead, I am blinded by the overwhelming fog created by painful pants.

Breath in. Breath out STEPHANIE!



I feel like an asthmatic,

fighting to escape the fatal carelessness of countless smokers.

One who cannot distinguish the smell from a weed to a cigarette, a friend from an enemy

because I'd rather run than approach...



Except that at this moment,

I feel like this weakness won't forever be apart of me.

Upon that 19Th candle, I realized that I soon to wreck myself,

Destroy my life before it ever began.


Saying "heaven forbid" would only be an act of passiveness.

Those two healing words have healed so many!

But along with my childhood went my sense of phonetics...to bring my mouth to utter a two-word-Tylenol that will force me further into the path of financial destruction. I think not!



So I jargon this vignette to hopefully confront this fear that has been planted in the depths of my heart...

This fear of growing up, of growing out of the police man's benefit of the doubt, of struggling to make ends meet, of now having to answer to OUR problems and THE IRS (The Internal Revenue Service if it flew over your head.lol.)

I am now...accountable.



And like a scared wussy, the first place I ran was the library. I wonder why to, but ..The Library folks...and into the personal finance section I went..stumbling on literature with tear filled eyes. Desperately searching for a way to treat my ignorance.



And I read and I read, to the soundtrack of "Doors Closing" and "Next stop...L'Efant Plaza"..wonderful courtesy of Metro.

You know that distinct thought that you can always hear while reading? Well I heard one..constantly asking myself, "Why has it taken me so long to leisurely read about finance?...and Why isn't anyone else around me reading what I am reading? It is important after all right?" The reason is...finance has always been a scary part of my life.
Before I started reading about it, I never understood the language so I completely avoided it.

I remember the second time I ever cried in college...it was in front of my business management professor, during her office hour....when I had to explain why 'Economic Security' was one of my top most values that I indicated on a questionnaire. It was a heartfelt moment for me I do recall...hearing myself explain why it has such a huge effect on me.



My financial worries for my future are my greatest burdens...This fear is at the core of the web that extends to the many fashions of my behavior. Basically, to understand that fear is to understand why I do what I do...nag about what I nag about...



I begin to understand that I do certain things out of fear, no longer panic--strategic acts for safety, not senseless reactions for catastrophe.



And some wonder why I bother myself about "grown-up" things such as this?

Well it's sad to admit, but I'm 1 step away from the Orphan's Court, and I refuse to ever reduce myself to rely on a man to handle the financial issues while I lay by the side, lookin' sexy and fly ;-) and "make" my home. I've witnessed what such ignorance can be for a woman and I am going to be...one...less.



I have an old soul (considered a blessing by me because it comes with wisdom :-)..and I can't help but worry about these issues...although I believe that they're quite age appropriate for a 19 yr old such as myself.



Plain and Simple:

Economic INsecurity is a big worry of mine. Being ignorant about finance and how the government and IRS work accordingly makes me feel even worse.



An hour later to make now, I feel quite accomplished because of the little baby steps I've taken to remove this ignorance of mine. But it aint over!



That "financial freedom" jargon that I keep hearing...I'm going to get it.



-WOP





[Thanks] Justin Onuoha for your DRIVE that has made me so eager to FOLLOW.